


(not) Chasing Tomorrow

by Mozzarella



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Groundhog Day (1993) Fusion, Be warned though, Groundhog Day, Identity Porn, M/M, Secret Identity, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Time Loop, but it's groundhog day style so none of it actually sticks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 07:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13071708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mozzarella/pseuds/Mozzarella
Summary: In which Steve Rogers makes the most of a time loop by falling in love





	(not) Chasing Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [izazov](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izazov/gifts).



> TRIGGER WARNING for one mention of suicide attempts that don't last (because groundhog day)
> 
> Full disclosure: This isn't my best work. Most of my ideas extended this to a fic longer than my busy schedule was able to accommodate, so I had to keep it simple, so I wasn't able to go into the fun parts of identity porn and time shenanigans. But hopefully, it does bring a smile to the faces of those who read it!

The truth was, and Steve was ashamed to admit it—he was happy. He couldn't remember ever being happier. And he felt so guilty for being happy that he had to pretend, pretend that he was as hard at work as Tony (no longer Mister Stark, no, they had had too much time to be so to each other, anymore), trying to find a way to end their cycle. To find a way to get to tomorrow.

When it had begun, a lifetime or more ago (Steve couldn't remember now, many of his days blending together in his mind), he couldn't wrap his head around it. For a while, he thought that sleeping for decades might have been better—at least he wasn't awake to suffer through the passing of endless time alone. A few times, when he was feeling most desperate, he'd stepped into traffic and jumped off buildings just to see if that would break the cycle, knowing in his heart he wouldn't have minded either way, as long as he saw an end to this torturous, endless loop.

It wasn't until the day he saw a sleek, modern car pull into the driveway of Avengers Mansion—a break from a routine he memorized from start to finish even early on—that he was able to believe that things could change, that perhaps he'd found a way to end the cycle without knowing it.

Despite not knowing the man very well beyond the briefest of conversations about Avengers business and Iron Man himself, Steve, knowing that consequences didn't last when he woke up to the same day in the morning, had tackled him and lifted him up into the most relieved of bear hugs, and kissed him like they were the most intimate of lovers. He had never been more relieved in his life to have somebody break the endless monotony.

Tony had kissed back quite enthusiastically before Steve put him down, and had stared at him with huge, startled eyes when he took in the grief and frustration that must have roiled behind Steve's gaze for the days he had to keep reliving.

“Cap,” Tony had breathed, his own eyes reflecting the same shock and terror and awe. “Are we... Did we...” 

“I've been living the same day for what might have been a year now,” Steve had confided quickly. “But I'm not sure of exactly how many days it's been.” He'd told many people over the course of this year, begging for their help only to be disappointed the next day when they remembered none of it. The closest Steve had ever gotten to hope was a visit to the genius Reed Richards in the Baxter Building, but he was never able to solve the anomaly in a day, and whatever notes he had would be gone by the time they hit 6AM, and Steve found himself waking again to that blinking time in his own bed. 

“Me—me too!” Tony had said—yelled, really, and Steve couldn't blame him. “I thought it was just me. All the tests I ran... I've been all over the city and never encountered a single individual who could remember this day repeating. Until you.” 

“You could have come here sooner,” Steve said, trying to keep the edge of hurt and tension in his voice. It had felt like forever since Steve had spoken to somebody who _knew_ just what he'd gone through, and it truly didn't matter that Tony was more a host than a friend. 

“I did, once. Twice, maybe. You weren't here, I didn't think...” 

Steve's face flushed, remembering whole days he spent running or riding as far as he could, hoping distance could set things to rights.

Once, knowing Iron Man was out on the West Coast for some business for his boss, he'd spent money on a ticket and tried to depart on the same day, but he was never able to arrive.

He didn't try again.

“I—um, I'm... sorry for attacking you. It's just... it's been a long time.” 

Tony gave Steve a wry grin, the kind that made Steve's insides warm and his heart flutter under his chest. “I promise, it was nothing I wasn't perfectly willing to take. You're not exactly hard on the eyes, Captain.”

Steve blinked, changing the subject rapidly even as his deep blush gave him away. “How, ah—how have you been doing? The monotony, it's... well, it's been killing me. I've spent days just trying to get as far as I can before coming back as soon as I hit 6AM. I've talked to people who don't remember what I said the next day. I...”

He thought, guiltily, about asking Tony about Iron Man. After realizing nothing he said would stick till morning, he was afraid.

In the strange world he'd barely spent a year in, Iron Man had become his anchor. His best friend, so modern and new and a symbol of the technology this world had to offer, but so welcoming, warm, more like  _home_ than anybody Steve had ever met before. 

He couldn't bear to think of what might happen if he told his Shellhead of his predicament, have the man promise everything to help him, only to forget in the morning anything had ever been wrong.

It perhaps made him a coward, not to ask after Iron Man, but of all that he'd suffered, he didn't want his anchor to the modern world to be lost to him too.

He never asked. And Tony never brought him up, even as, with a kinetic energy Steve couldn't believe he could muster after living the same day over and over, Tony recruited Steve in figuring out how to get them out of the mess they'd found themselves in.

It had been over this time, these endless days, that Steve had gotten to know Tony Stark as more than their benefactor. He was witty, oft distracted but kinder than Steve expected from a man who was likely richer than God. He was a genius, of course, but it was easy to understand even the most advanced of concepts when he explained them. Steve had met a few scientists in his time and this one, and Tony Stark probably blew them all out of the water, while still able to explain the complexities of time and the universe with a shoestring and a couple of coffee beans.

It was easy to fall in love with the man who made the same intolerable day seem like new.

“I still don't understand why we're the only ones affected,” Steve said. 

“Maybe it was the last thing we both did,” Tony said thoughtfully. “It can't be proximity, since we're both too far away for it to not have affected other members of the Avengers, or the people in the tower.” 

“I can't imagine,” Steve said. “We hadn't spoken in a month when this started. Unless we came in contact with the same object, or—”

Tony snapped his fingers then, looking cautiously over to Steve before saying, “The mission. Magic. That artifact—”

“Strange's magic monkey,” Steve said, bemused, a pang in his heart remembering how Iron Man had referred to it. “Did Iron Man tell you—”

“Yeah, he mentioned it,” Tony said absently, waving his hand like it didn't matter. That stung a little, that Tony would think so little of his bodyguard's word, but it wouldn't do to argue with the only man he could really talk to. “But the important thing is that he handled it in the suit, and the suit went to me for repairs later in the day before he took off to the West Coast. Whatever that thing did, it must have affected us both. You touched it too, didn't you?” 

“Yes, I handled it. It glowed for just a second, but...” 

Tony laughed, a little hollowly. “Time monkey. God, I hate magic.”

Steve sighed, defeated. “I tried Strange. He's off world, can't be contacted. And I figure he's gonna stay that way.”

“So we gotta find our own way, huh?” Tony said, sounding tired as Steve felt. “Ah, well. I'll figure this out. Don't worry your pretty head, Steve. I'm a genius, remember? I'll figure this out,” he said, clasping Steve's shoulder in a gesture of comfort, because _of course_ Tony Stark was thinking of Steve's feelings before his own. 

Steve took the hand and kissed the knuckles, looking at Tony intently. “I believe you,” he said, before pulling Tony into a kiss.

Even if Tony did figure things out and get them back to the way things were meant to be, he wasn't going to lose his chance with this. With him.

“That's not going away in the morning,” Tony whispered when Steve pulled away, just enough for them to press their foreheads together. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” Steve said, soft but firm. “If you want it,” he added, making it clear that Tony had a choice in this. 

Tony laughed, warm and ringing, before pulling Steve into a kiss steamier than the last.

“If I want, he says,” Tony murmured, nothing but joy in his voice. “Nothing I want more, W—ah, Captain.” 

The night they spent together was perfect.

Or it might have been, if Steve hadn't woken in the morning to an empty bed, Tony back in the tower where he started.

 

* * *

  
  


They'd developed a routine, with Tony coming to the mansion and welcomed with a breakfast Steve made for him, even if the rest of the Avengers participated. The others remembered nothing, and Steve had seen their reactions a hundred times over when he kissed Tony the first time, ranging from shock and surprise and even disbelief, to congratulations and laughter, all wondering when they'd found the time to step out when everybody knew everything that went on in the mansion.

At some point, Steve had found the courage to ask Tony about Iron Man and his work on the other side of the country, but Tony had apologetically informed Steve that Iron Man was incommunicado until tomorrow—a tomorrow they both knew wasn't likely to come anytime soon.

Steve was happier than he ever felt, being in love, showering Tony with affection and spending time with him, the two of them brainstorming over ways to fix their problem or simply going back and forth on things that might make Avengers work better, projects Tony could take up in his company, and any which topics they could talk about under the sun.

But for all the freedom of a near consequence free day they could spend differently every time, things were terribly lonely. They had fights, sometimes, but spending time away from each other for days did nothing but hurt, and Steve couldn't even call his best friend for advice on how to deal with romantic issues with his boss.

Steve had long since stopped hoping for a fix to what he now saw was his life. A life he was willing to spend with Tony Stark, when it came right down to it.

“I'm sorry,” Tony had said one night, after they made love in Tony's bed in a suite in the tower for a change. 

“For what?” 

“That you had to get me for company. Instead of Iron Man, or somebody else you'd be happier with,” Tony said softly. 

Steve sighed into his hair, arms around Tony's middle, careful not to strike too hard against his chest plate. It was funny, how Iron Man was the one in a metal suit, but his boss was the one who actually bore a piece of it on his body.

“I'm happy with you,” Steve said warmly. 

“You had to be,” Tony said, a tinge of bitterness beneath the warmth. “Mark my words, when things go back to the way they were... Well, you'll be happy to live without me knocking every single day.” 

“It won't happen,” Steve said with a certainty Tony clearly didn't believe.

“We'll see about it,” Tony muttered, so quiet that Steve knew he hadn't been meant to hear it. He did anyway, and decided right there and then he would prove Tony Stark wrong, if it ever came to that.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony had counted up to six hundred twenty-one days, when Steve awoke to an empty bed at six in the morning, to a day like all the others. He crept down the hallway earlier than all the other Avengers might wake, made breakfast to prepare for when Tony would eventually arrive.

It wasn't until he heard the familiar blast of a suit he hadn't seen in years worth of repeating days that he realized that today was different.

“Iron Man?” Steve said, eyes near bulging out of his head as his friend, his old friend, whom he hadn't seen in years, stepped into the kitchen. 

“Hey there, Winghead. Missed me?” Iron Man said, wry behind the faceplate, and Steve realized that it had only been a day— _only a day, finally, after so long—_ that his friend had been away. 

“What date is it?” Steve demanded suddenly, and the curious answer Iron Man gave him told Steve that tomorrow had come. Tomorrow was _here_ , and either Tony Stark had found a way to fix it without Steve knowing or some other powers had fixed things without them knowing. 

Steve, aware that he was shaking, strode over to Iron Man and wrapped the armor in a tight embrace, hoping he wasn't denting any metal but finding he couldn't care less.

Iron Man was  _here._ His Shellhead was  _here._

“Hey, hey,” Iron Man said gently. “Are you alright? It was just a joke, but if you really missed me, I'm sorry I didn't call.” 

“No, no,” Steve said. “I'm sorry, it's just...” He ran a hand through his hair, dazed. “You won't believe what's happened.” 

  
  


“So you spent, what, a couple of years reliving the same day with Tony Stark?” Iron Man said incredulously. “Must've been hell,” came as a mutter on the tail end, coming out as a rumble out of the suit's voice modulator that Steve wouldn't have understood if he wasn't so used to Iron Man's speech. 

He was glad to know he still was, even if he hadn't seen the suit for years.

“No, he was... he was good to me. I want to talk to him, see if he knows what happened to us back there.” 

Iron Man sighed on a crackle. “You don't want to do that, Cap. He's not... He might have been kind when he had nothing to lose, but things are different now. How do you know he still feels the same?”

Steve squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath before smiling crookedly at Iron Man. “Can't know if I don't try, right?”

Another sigh, and a dozen protests later, Steve was hanging on to Iron Man's side as they flew to the tower where Tony Stark resided, landing on the balcony to a room he'd come to know intimately when he spent nights there, sitting at the foot of the bed while Tony laid his work out over the expanse of his sheets.

“He's not here,” Iron Man said lightly. 

Steve walked over to the bed, drawing something out of his pocket that Iron Man perked up at.

“Every time I stayed here, I'd bring something from the mansion. It never stayed in the morning, but I wanted him to think of me,” he said, laying down a somewhat ragged flower on the side table. 

“Mostly flowers from the garden. Sometimes a coffee bean, a pebble, something that might make him look at me like I was crazy.”

“You... sound like you're in love,” Iron Man said, the words clearly meant to be a joke but the tone too quiet and wistful to be anything but an unasked question. 

“I am,” Steve said simply, turning to face Iron Man and trying to read the eyes behind the slits. 

“Things are different now. You can't expect things to not have changed,” Iron Man continued to protest. 

“Can't have changed that much, since you're still trying to convince me it's not a good idea.” 

“I—what?” Iron Man startled, ridiculously expressive even in the expressionless tin can. 

“You think I didn't recognize you the moment you spoke to me, the way you walked over?” Steve said, smiling wryly. Iron Man was frozen in place, but Steve barreled on before he lost his nerve. 

“You think I don't know those eyes?” he added, quietly. 

Slowly, Iron Man raised a gauntlet to his other arm. He heard the mechanisms disengage and parts of the suit began to fall to the carpeted floor.

And there, standing before him with gauntlets off and helmet in his hands, was Tony Stark, looking bright eyed and breathless.

“Cap, I—” 

Tony could barely get a word out before Steve kissed him, able to pull him in even with nearly the full weight of the armor.

“I was worried,” Steve murmured between kisses. 

“ _You_ were worried?” Tony said incredulously. Steve laughed, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I was worried you wouldn't have time for me now that we have time to deal with,” Steve confessed. “But now I know... you've always been there. Always given your time to me, to us. To the team.” 

“Things _are_ different now,” Tony said, and Steve closed his eyes, bracing for what Tony had to say next. 

“But honestly, spending every day with you, Winghead? So much better than spending the one,” he went on, and Steve smiled warmly, meeting Tony's eyes. 

They had somehow found their way to tomorrow, together more than Steve had first thought they'd be.

And Steve couldn't remember ever being happier.   
  


 

 


End file.
